Diluting yourself and your relationships trying to keep up with it all is not the answer.
A couple of years ago I barely knew Facebook existed. I would remember to check-in once or twice a month when it was a good month. Most of the time, I checked because someone said “I sent you a message on FB didn’t you see it”. I would fumble my way over to Facebook and try desperately to remember my password. That’s how ‘bad’ or ‘good’ I was.
Now I am completely fused to the information superhighway. It’s Non Stop.
Why the shift from rarely to always?
I promise you it wasn’t my intention, but slowly and surely I was pulled in. I live overseas and It become a fabulous way to stay in touch with friends and family back home and around the globe. I’m also a business owner and social media is an extraordinary tool to keep up virtually with my colleagues and clients.
I’m not suggesting it’s an easy pill to swallow by any means, but I can say that how you react to falling, also know as failing, can either help you or harm you.
The good news is: you get to choose!
I had a bad fall on my bike a few days ago.
It was painful. I was cut, bruised, scared, embarrassed, and I felt sorry for myself.
As I was picking myself up off the pavement with the help of a few bystanders, a wave of shame came over me. My head hanging low, I began to apologize profusely for causing a scene. I was feeling just a tad bit stupid and the conversation I was having with myself was viscous. Let me have you listen in:
“How stupid, Hooda! I can’t believe you were such an idiot! “ “You should know better! “ “Pay attention to what you are doing you nut.” “You can’t even ride a bike like a normal human being!” “What is wrong with you?” ..etc etc.
When I noticed the mean spirited conversation I was having with myself, I recognized it sounded very familiar. FAILING can have the same effect on me.
I realized this scene was the perfect analogy for what failure often feels like and this meant I had a choice to make. Continue reading →
The gifts of gratitude are infinite.
I’m a huge fan of the G word and at times I may even exaggerate in my effort to “convert” everyone I come in contact with. Having said that I’d like to bring your attention to this wonderful habit that can change your life for the better. I assure you it works. The world becomes a better place when you take the time to be grateful.
I often work with people who have trouble feeling connected, seen, understood, or accepted. This can cause them to feel inadequate, unworthy, and as if they are not _________enough (feel free to fill in the blank). Encouraging them to foster a habit of gratitude is often a first step which brings with it powerful results.
Being grateful is an attitude, a way to perceive life, and a tool that allows you to notice what is good in your life instead of what is wrong. Gratitude tips the scale in your favor.
Recently scientists have begun to chart a course of research aimed at understanding gratitude and the circumstances in which it flourishes or diminishes. They’re finding that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits, some of which include:
Stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure
Higher levels of positive emotions
More joy, optimism and happiness
Acting with more generosity and compassion
Feeling less lonely and isolated
Gratitude opens the heart and activates positive emotion centers in the brain. Practicing gratitude regularly can change the way your neurons fire into more positive automatic patterns. The positive emotions educed can soothe distress and broaden your thinking patterns so you develop a larger and more expansive view of life.
Here are a few ways to cultivate gratitude in your life. Mix and match as you please, create your own recipe, but begin today. Continue reading →
Anam Cara has to do with CONNECTION, the most sacred kind of connection to be more precise.
Let me clarify what I mean by connection. This definition by Brene’ Brown is a favorite of mine. “Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
It seems we have less and less of it present in our lives. Many if not most of the clients I see struggle with some aspect of connection. This capacity and willingness to connect takes effort, courage, and compassion. It is also a key ingredient to leading a happier more meaningful life. Continue reading →
If money didn’t matter how would you live your life differently? Most people immediately jump into yes BUT it does matter mode. I get it, and I know we don’t live in utopia. I, like many of you on this planet have bills to pay and haven’t found a way to avoid using money, but I’ve reached a place in my life where I pay attention and stop myself when money is too important in the decision making process. Thank God because I am a much happier person because of it. Continue reading →
Snapped this just outside of my home. The leaves made me think of change.
How many of you like change? Be honest, raise your hands…
Why does change often scare the pants off most people? The word itself sounds innocuous, harmless, exciting at times, yet change can cause havoc in so many peoples lives. Why does that happen? Why do we fight it? What about change feels so threatening to many of us?
For one, it takes time to assess the “new” situation whether its losing your job, leaving your partner, moving to a new city, or anything else that has caused a shift in how things use to be. Our mind creates so many stories in the meantime. The WHAT IF comments can make us feel as if the world as we know it is falling apart. This is bad, our mind screams. We panic, we are frightened, and we feel shaken or lost. Sometimes, shame may shackle us and cause us to feel as if we are the problem and the reason for the unwelcome transition. NOT SO MY FRIENDS.